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Dear Michele, (Karlsberg, publicity agent to the stars)
As of this morning, Bywater Books has 998 fans on Facebook. The flood waters are rising, and there is no way I can get enough people to “unlike” to stop the tide.
Possible solutions: you put out a press release announcing I have gone into seclusion; I have died and do not wish to be disturbed; I have taken an extended world tour incognito; I am rehearsing for my Lady Gaga video debut; like so many writers, I have committed suicide (twice) to boost sales; I have been reincarnated as Katharine Hepburn and the only subject I will discuss is Spencer.
Or: Because of a law suit I have filed against Bywater Books, citing extensive mistreatments of all sorts, you do not wish to support my video endeavor celebrating the 1000 milestone.
Put on your thinking cap. I am sure you have had ample practice making excuses for that laggard Kate Clinton. How many shows has she missed over the years due to her obsessions with any passing thing?
I do not own a bathrobe or a bathing suit, so those two costume choices are out.
The hour approaches. I am sure none of us wish to witness the debacle of my appearing in a vlog.
This is your last chance to brainstorm and put a stop to this in a face-saving way.
I await your response.
PS: Do NOT share my emails with Kate Clinton. Do not feed the monster.