Bett Norris



Dear Michele, (Karlsberg, publicity agent to the stars)

As of this morning, Bywater Books has 998 fans on Facebook. The flood waters are rising, and there is no way I can get enough people to “unlike” to stop the tide.

Possible solutions: you put out a press release announcing I have gone into seclusion; I have died and do not wish to be disturbed; I have taken an extended world tour incognito; I am rehearsing for my Lady Gaga video debut; like so many writers, I have committed suicide (twice) to boost sales; I have been reincarnated as Katharine Hepburn and the only subject I will discuss is Spencer.

Or: Because of a law suit I have filed against Bywater Books, citing extensive mistreatments of all sorts, you do not wish to support my video endeavor celebrating the 1000 milestone.

Put on your thinking cap. I am sure you have had ample practice making excuses for that laggard Kate Clinton. How many shows has she missed over the years due to her obsessions with any passing thing?

I do not own a bathrobe or a bathing suit, so those two costume choices are out.

The hour approaches. I am sure none of us wish to witness the debacle of  my appearing in a vlog.

This is your last chance to brainstorm and put a stop to this in a face-saving way.

I await your response.

As ever,


PS: Do NOT share my emails with Kate Clinton. Do not feed the monster.


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