Bett Norris

Perspectives

Great Kate Appearing in St. Petersburg

Boss,

Great Kate in St. Pete

Have you no sense of decency sir? Now Kate is appearing on my home turf, 9/23. This is taking stalking to a new level. Does she really want to impress me so much she arranges a show here in St. Petersburg?

I say bring it on.

I have tried being polite. Tried feigning ignorance of this public love crush.

I hope you advised the great Kate of the legal ramifications of appearing in my jurisdiction. Restraining order is being ordered. And so forth.

I must say this. If my name is mentioned during her show, even in a fawning, totally suck up way, I must resort to cease and desist action.

I am forced to attend this event, so that I may later quote directly any such slanders.  Also to take notes of any intellectual property theft she might commit. I’m just saying.

I do admire the great Kate’s audacity.Having a performance practically in my back yard is ballsy. And also nuts.

In contrast, the lovely and thoughtful Jennie McNulty recently appeared in my area. She sent along a polite note asking me to attend. All done with great class and perfect manners.

It’s all very well for the great Kate to maintain this fantasy, and it would be flattering, were it not for the pandering and ploys. Thirty years in the business, and she develops a schoolgirl crush.

Can she simply resume poking fun at the Republicans and leave me out of it?

Yours sincerely,

Bett Norris

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5 responses to “Great Kate Appearing in St. Petersburg

  1. kateclinton August 3, 2011 at 9:23 am

    Dear Agent Norris,

    It is true I will be appearing in your area in a gleeful red and white butch boa.

    It is I who am fearful of appearing in your hood, on your sandy untaxed turf. I merely pay homage to your important presence on Florida’s left coast. You shall indeed be mentioned with hosannas and at least three huzzahs.

    I will of course make some remarks on your beloved guv Scott. Rick, the P is silent.

    I look forward to my visit.

    Kate

    And from whom do you think Jennie McNulty learned such excellent manners?

    Like

  2. bettnorris August 3, 2011 at 10:31 am

    Of course I will attend your performance in my fair city. Sling all arrows toward the Great Scott Rick. Huge target, you can’t miss.

    Like

  3. Joy August 3, 2011 at 4:23 pm

    Call me if you need back-up. I have weapons and you know I’ve got your back.

    Like

  4. Sally Bellerose August 5, 2011 at 5:33 pm

    Bett, please use your influence to encourage Great Kate to knock Mitt Romney off the white horse he road out of our Great State of MA before he gets to the White House. This request should supercede any problems you and Kate may be having. In sisterhood. Sally B

    Like

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